I’m sorry, I lied, I’m here now. Still friends…? Friends.
I hate bras. Like hate them. Wires, loose straps, back fat.
Ugh. If it wasn’t completely inappropriate, I would free-boob it all over this
damn town. CVS, Walgreen’s, 7-11, and any drive-thru are perfectly acceptable
braless establishments in my book, but I draw the line at the grocery store.
Omg BREATHE mother.
When I do strap them in, I have a select few that make the
cup... HA!
1. The Coobie Bra. Found this gem at a
boutique in Newport, RI (yes I just wanted to name-drop Newport). It’s like a
feminine sports bra with straps you can criss-cross, one shoulder, you get it,
you’re not a moron. It has a little
padding, but I hate padding, so I pulled it out. To each his own. The padding
is probably there to hide the THO, but I’m sorry. If Jennifer Aniston allegedly had a
surgery to where she has permanent THO, it is CHIC AS HELL. Only other
con to this bra is that it doesn’t cut very low, so you often have to rig it with
a safety pin to dip it down. Thank you for the opportunity to let you all know just how
white-trash I am.
2. Hanky Panky Racer-back Bralette. (Thanks,
Erin!) Most of you know I’m a sucker for a good racer-back, so this is a given.
Even I know you can't wear a racerback with everything, so I’d say that’s the only con.
3. The point of this post. I stumbled uponTrue & Co. via this blog. I took the quiz like 22 times before I actually bit the bullet. It asks you thinks like Which way do your breasts naturally lie? I don’t typ look at those fat sacks, so I sent it to Crawford to see his opinion. His response, “This is a trap. Not answering.” More questions about your favorite bra, your size, how does it fit you, where does it pinch, sag, fall off, etc. After the quizzie, they pick 2 bras for you based on your answers, and you scroll through a bunch of different ones and pick 3 more. That’s 5 total, peeps. You pay a $45 deposit, they ship you the brassieres, you might like them all, or you might return them all. I only liked one, so they refunded me $7, and I will use it to buy booze. No underwire, no padding, still gives you some lift, criss-cross straps, and a partridge in a pear tree. Check it out!
3. The point of this post. I stumbled uponTrue & Co. via this blog. I took the quiz like 22 times before I actually bit the bullet. It asks you thinks like Which way do your breasts naturally lie? I don’t typ look at those fat sacks, so I sent it to Crawford to see his opinion. His response, “This is a trap. Not answering.” More questions about your favorite bra, your size, how does it fit you, where does it pinch, sag, fall off, etc. After the quizzie, they pick 2 bras for you based on your answers, and you scroll through a bunch of different ones and pick 3 more. That’s 5 total, peeps. You pay a $45 deposit, they ship you the brassieres, you might like them all, or you might return them all. I only liked one, so they refunded me $7, and I will use it to buy booze. No underwire, no padding, still gives you some lift, criss-cross straps, and a partridge in a pear tree. Check it out!
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