The Cooler Cleanse

I did the Cooler Cleanse shortly after I started my new job. More specifically, I was less than a month in, and I not only had a huge box over-nighted to the mailroom, but I also occupied an entire drawer in the community fridge with these (and other) numbered gems:

Who's new girl? I dunno, but she drinks juice all day.. AND she took up a whole drawer??! 

So cool it's scary. To summarize:

Day One: This is awesomme!! I feel so healthy! Everything tastes so good! Yummyyyy green juice! I LOVE YOU! This is so easy... who needs to chew? I sure don't. Calorically it's a decent amount and with the final "juice" being about 50% of said calories, it is enjoyed as the delicious straight-up milkshake it tastes like. Meaning: I am truly never hungry all day! A juice every 2 hours to total 6 juices a day? Easy-peasy.

Morning Day Two: Still going strong until about 11am. I'm In my boss's office (juice in hand, duh, I have no shame), and I can...hardly...keep...my eyes open. It was pretty much how I picture Katniss when she gets stung by the Tracker Jackers. For those non-HGers (sorry for you) imagine calculus class taught by a french guy with a thick accent after a late night out. There. OH and I'm freezinnnnnnng. Like all day long, shiverinnnnnnnng. At my previous job I had a tye-dye snuggie I would bust out in that freezer of an office but I'm new here, remember? There's a reputation to uphold... ha.

Evening Day Two: Oh, hello Mary Clay the DEVIL. Nice to meet you.

Day Three: I JUST WANT TO CHEW. And not gum- I try to adhere to the strict guidelines (read: extremist), so I gag down the doo-doo green drink. I hate you! I try to imagine life with a knife and fork. This attitude pretty much continues until about 3pm when suddenly.....  "I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLLLLD, LOOKIN' DOWN ON CREATION" (That means YOU - PEON that actually eats their food... ew).

I know this girl looks exactly like me, but it's not.

Pic from this adorable blog : Could I Have That

My skin is dewy, my hands are more moisturized than I've ever seen them, and I just feel so good! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's meal, but genuinely, genuinely glad I did this. Would I do it again? Heck yeah... But not for a long, long, long time. The no coffee thing was definitely tough, but I'm glad to know I actually can survive without it.

Word of advice: Don't do this cleanse prior to a wedding weekend. (As if that's even possible these days). I 100% negated every morsel of goodness those 3 days did me... Innnn about 8 hours.