In Loving Memory of Greta 1/22/2009 - 9/26/2012

Most of you know that I hardly ever called her "Greta," so the title might seem almost comical. Among countless other senseless nicknames, she was my Teetsie, my RuRu, my Shushie, The Girl. I remember the day we got her like it was yesterday. We showed up to the Swissie Compound, complete with dog mansion to match the breeders' mansion. We heard the "aRU-RU-RUuu" bark before we saw the gentle giants, and I remember saying to Crawford, "Those are the male dogs... right?" Sure enough, they were girls and one was Greta's mama. Once we got the all-clear from the protective breeder, we had that sweet baby in our arms. I am using the term "baby" loosely, because she was not your regular sized 8 week old puppy... She was already heavy to carry. Gosh I would give anything for that day.

Her size was not the only "non-puppy" thing about her. Her demeanor at 8 weeks to the day she left us was that of an 18 year old precious lug. Not much excited her. Except for Crawford. I always said that if I walked in one door with a huge slab of raw meat and Crawford walked in the other, she wouldn't even glance my way. She loved him SO much. And for good reason! That man would do anything for her... and he did.

There are so many things I will miss. That face. Such a precious, puddin' face. Those brown dots above her eyes, or her eyebrows I guess, were my favorite part. She was so striking! Her eyes held so much more wisdom than she every fully revealed. It was like she knew secrets... Her coat. I will miss that soft fur with every inch of my being. Her presence. Her calming, soothing presence. Going on walks. I will miss the way she knew we were going on a walk anytime a plastic bag was rustled. The way she would put part of the leash in her mouth and tug it like it was actually her walking Crawford or me. That is a great way to look at it honestly. She took care of us, just as much as we took care of her. She held us up!

Everyday life will be the toughest. We already feel it. Now it doesn't matter if we forget to put the trash can on the counter out of reach or if we leave tennis shoes and socks on the ground after a run. We don't have to put a chair on the couch or close his bedroom door to protect it from Greta hair. Saving trash bags, keeping towels in the car, and putting her leash in a spot the other will find it... All these little habits we are so conditioned to do just don't matter anymore. 

 

I think that's part of what God and Greta want us to see too... All the things that simply don't matter. Whether the burlap is frayed enough for our wedding tablecloths, whether or not it will rain that day, whether my nail color is too summery (ha)... Doesn't matter. Love matters. Being kind matters. Being authentic matters. We gained another clear perspective as well: We can't wait to go to heaven. This world is so full of pain, and with Jesus there is no pain. Don't get me wrong, our lives on earth are amazing and we are beyond thankful, but they don't compare to what is waiting for us!

 

Thank you, Greta for strengthening our love for each other and for the Lord. We will miss you every single day... You're the Best Girl, and now you really are our Angel. We celebrate your life!!!



St. Tropez Mousse

I'm Mary Clay, and I'm a bronze-o-holic.

Hiii, Mary Clay.

Most children grew up with their mothers harping "Sunscreen, Sunscreen, Sunscreen!!" Allie and I grew up with a mother harping "Tanner, Tanner, Tanner!!" Love you Mom, but it's true :) I left the tanning beds behind in college- for the most part- I confess I've been like 5 times over the past 5 years. Don't judge... I can feel you judging. I loooove laying out, but let's get real, it's not doing my skin any favors. I got super into Versa Spa for a good 2 years- like going every Friday morning of my LIFE, and while I learned from the expert Emily :) of how to make this work for me, in the end the monthly charge of $80 was taking a hunk out of this budget. Not to mention... This conversation happened while Crawford and I were on a run (of all times) about a year ago:

C: Hey, we need to talk about something. I've been wanting to bring this up for a while now.

Me: (GULP. Welp. This is it... At least we're running... I can run home and cry. And eat ice cream).

C: Your spray-tanning. I hate it. It smells and it doesn't even look that good.

Me: (That's as bad as a break-up!!!!!!!!!!!) Well it's not stopping... I am not stopping it!

C: But you look great as you are! Without that shiz all over you!

Me: YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ME WITHOUT A TAN, SO HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW??!

Notice I said this convo was about a year ago... It took me another year+ to realize he was right (and/or to listen to this request... so sor, sor). Long of the short, after Versa, Mystic, actual sprays from a person, and countless creams/gels/younameit, I've found the end-all, be-all, tan-savior of all-time!! Thank you, Benna, for pushing me to buy the St. Tropez Mousse and Mit.

 

Y'all. You can see exactly where it's going on your bod, and it's instantly bronzing- ie no waiting around for 5 hours to see it. It does not smell badly, is not streaky, the mit keeps your palms oompa-loompa free, and it dries SUPER fast. Also, you're not sticky or wary of any clothing being ruined! It lasts for about 4 days, but you can layer more onto it without looking like a melting caramel cake. Annnnd, most importantly, it has C's stamp of approval. His words: The color is much more natural, and there's no smell. Win. WIN. Sephora sells it, so get your pasty booty to a store near you, asap.

TEXAS v. OLE MISS

SUPER PUMPED for this weekend. This will be the first time in FORTY-SIX YEARS that Texas plays Ole Miss. I'm not gonna lie, this has been the pinnacle of Crawford's and my relationship for the past 4.5 years. Some might say marriage, starting a life together, popping out babes... nope. Football game featuring our respective Alma Maters.

Y'all, The Grove! This thing is the epitomy of all things COLLEGE and FOOTBALL. I might not ever come back.

Annnnnd naturally, with something this monumental, comes outfit anxiety. Several things making this difficult:

1. It's Tuesday. We leave on Thursday.

2. It's post-Labor Day, and we will be in the heart of the South where Labor Day rules are real rules.

3. It's going to be 85 during the day, but the game isn't until 8:15pm... when it will be 60 something.

4. Ole Miss girls dress up like it's prom.

Option 1:  

i.e. What is happening because I didn't get my shiz together... in 4.5 years of anticipation.

Option 2: 



If I was rich and did have my shiz together, this would be the outfit.

Leeeeeet's be honest here though, totes won't matter! Cannot freaking wayyuuuuut. PS I used Polyvore for the first time to make these outfits. Yes, I know I'm behind, but it was really fun.

Extremely Embarrassing

My Week in a nutsheel:

#1. As this man is speaking on the Republican National Convention:

I ask Crawford if that is Ryan... He doesn't speak to me for a solid 10 minutes. #idiot #usweeklyisntnews

#2. I search high and low for "easy" cookies to bring to a friend's ranch this weekend. I opt for easy White Chocolate Ritz Peanut Butter Cookies. I jot down ingredients, the gist of the recipe, and I go to town. I don't cook a lot, but in the words of my Mom "I'm pretty good at entertaining dishes." So basically, this should be my forte, right? Wrong. So, so wrong.

Exhibit A

 

 Peanut butter sandies anybody?! Gosh, this IS easy.

I remember the recipe said to melt the chocolate in the microwave, but I I use a double boiler because that's the only way I've ever melted chocolate. (Basically I am on my high horse... Microwave? Psh. Amateur hour.) So the white chocolate chippies are melting away, and it occurs to me that I do not understand how in the world something that thick could coat these little sandies without absolutely scalding my fingers. (No, tongs never entered my mind, but this was truly so thick they wouldn't have helped). Crawford is about to take Greta on a walk and notices that I am about to need a trip to the ER for 3rd degree burns, so he aborts the walk. Long of the short, this is what happened.

Exhibit B

Doo doo iced crackers with me yelping Owww! Hot! Like a 2 year old. (Notice the blurb of chocolate... I obvs still eat one of them).

Not yet defeated, I decide that melting them in the microwave is probably a better route? (Tail between my legs). I remember the recipe said to stir every 30 seconds, but that gets really old, and nothing is happening, so I let it reallyyy get going for 2 minutes. Herein lies the result:

Exhibit C 

In sum, this morning I do a little research, and here's the BLARING problem: I should've gotten "white almond bark" rather than actual white chocolate. I know you're saying DUH to the computer screen if you're even still reading, but I can be quite literal when it comes to new things, and these were called "Easy White Chocolate Ritz Peanut Butter Cookies." So, if anyone wants some Ritz PB Sandies... you know where to get them. I contemplated bringing them to work until I remembered we don't have recess or nap time.

#3. Crawford asks me what brass instrument I would play if I could play anything... I say the harp.

BB Cream... A Secret Society?

I originally ran across bobbi brown's BB Cream in the latest issue of DFW's Indulge Magazine. After telling a fellow bobbi lover about it (sup, lanyl?), I assumed the "BB" was just a play on bobbi brown. The blurb essentially dubbed it as a one-stop shop for your face. We're talking moisturizer, primer, foundation, sunscreen. What more do you need in life? As intrigued as this product whore was, I decided I was happy with my current foundation, and if you read the last post (there are only 6 of you, please fake it that you read the previous post), you know how much I love my moisturizer with SPF.

Well.

This was before I realized that half the world- literally the entire Eastern Hemisphere- has been on the BB train for years. Hello, loop, it's been a while. This stuff is everywhere! Garnier, Clinique, Smashbox, and many, many more have been touting this stuff as THE product for a while now. It has its own wikipedia page for crying out loud! As I said, it originated in East Asia, and the "BB" stands for Blemish Balm or Beauty Balm (among other monikers). So judging from the "blemish" half of this equation, I'm assuming it helps with pesky pimples as well? Has anyone tried this? Are you all out there BB'ing it up and I don't know it? I've never felt so alone. I think I might try the Garnier first, since it's only $12.99!! Stay tuned.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

Rodan+Fields Dermatologists

I've never had bad skin per se, but I definitely am not one of those people (ahem, Abbie) that has complete strangers tell her how perfect her complexion is... and then they ask me if I'm her mom. Twice. This has happened twice.

Scenario One: Getting pedicures, relaxing, biggest care is what color to pick when Abbie's lady points at me asks her... "This your mom?"

Scenario Two: Abel's on the Lake after a Texas loss last year (weird, I know), and Douchey McDouche is hitting on Abbie. He turns to me and says, "I'm sorry, Lady, but your daughter is hot."

Kill me.

Point being, Abbie has perfect peaches and cream skin, and my skin has now gone from "not bad per se" to holy balls I look like The Crypt Keeper in a matter of sentences.

What was my point? Oh right. This skincare line is amaaaaaaazing!!! And clearly I need it. A sweet friend sells it on the side, and after clicking her gchat status with the product site, she sold me. (Thanks, Emilie!) I am 6 weeks in, and I can certainly tell a difference. I went for the Anti-Age Regimine (if you even make me repeat why), and it is a 3 step system that you use morning and night. All of the steps are labelled very clearly, so that helps. Unlike the 4 step nail buffers you buy at CVS that come with directions that you always throw away because you're sure you'll remember, then the next thing you know, you're shining your nails before you use the rough part, and everything just seems like a huge waste of time. Like reading this blog.

omg medicine please. someone.

Ok, so Step 1 is this awesome exfoliating Daily Cleansing Mask that makes your skin feel soooo squeaky clean. We're talking like you have gotten every last bit of dirt and makeup out of every last pore. I know what you're thinking, Wow, that sounds like a mask/scrub that an extremist (hi!) would reallyyy get into, but it seems a little harsh, right? A scrub/mask twice a day? Well, it magically isn't! My skin is more hydrated and smooth than it has been in a long time. Stay with me though. Step 2 is the Pore Minimizing Toner with a light smell, and while that's drying I typ put my eye cream on (I have not bought the R+F eye cream because I love my bobbi brown, but I might get crazy and switch over once it runs out). After the toner is dry, you put on the Step 3 lotion specific to day or night. In the morning, you put on the Triple Defense Treatment (i.e. the one labeled "am", unless you are Allie, and you work nights. In which case, my mind is BLOWN) and it has spf 30 in it, is not too greasy, nor too wimpy. The Overnight Restorative Cream for night time (duh) is the JAM. It makes you feel like a goddess with supple, glowing skin right before you go to bed and only your dog or your significant other that is more interested in Breaking Bad sees you. Le sigh.

A few notes: My skin is super sensy to new products, and this did not break me out. I will say that it brought impurities out in the first couple weeks, but it was not like a full on pizza party, and they have since subsided. Also, it is not cheap. However, for $193, you're getting at least 2 months worth of products that truly make a difference. So, there ya have it!

Love,

Mom

The Dukan Diet

I attempted the Dukan Diet because Kate and Pippa were rumored to have done it.

"If Kate and Pippa jumped off a bridge, would you?"

Yes. Yes I would.

"If Kate and Pippa smoked crack and pulled out all their hair, would you?"

Why, Yes. Yes I would.

Ughh, if Pippa and Harry could just make it work, the wheels would be OFF.

And that, ladies and gents, is how to get flagged as a potential stalker threat to the royal family. You're welcome.

Perfection.

Back to it...

Dukan. It works, I'll tell you that much. There are 4 phases, but in true Mary Clay fashion, I was hardcore until a little over halfway through phase 2... and then I fell off the wagon.

In a nutshell:

Attack phase: Eat ONLY protein, excluding obvious fatty meats (duck, ribs, sausage... geez now I'm drooling), fat free dairy, and the obligatory 1.5 Tbsp of oat bran for anywhere from 2-10 days, dependent upon what Dr. dukan prescribes for your particular weightloss plan.

Cruise Phase: Introduce vegetables to your diet, but only root vegetables. No legumes (again, sorry La), no starchy potatoes or corn, and carrots and beets in lesser amounts because they are higher in sugar. Also, you up your oat bran to 2 Tbsp a day in this phase. You can alternate veggie/protein/oatbran days with protein/oat bran days (a la the Attack phase). OR you can eat v/p/o five days a week and p/o the remaining 2. (There are a couple other forms of alternation of v/p/o and p/o, but you get the gist... you better, because I'm over explaining this).

Consoldation Phase: Introduce fruit, bread, fattier cheeses... In my opinion it gets far too technical here, and you're bound to become obsessive and crazy. (I know nothing about that).

Stabilization Phase: You can eat what you want, in moderation (I know nothing about that- no really- nothing), while still maintaining the oat bran (up to 3 Tbsp at this point... mmm) and having a Protein Only Day on a consistent day each week. (Doc suggests Thursdays. Why? No idea).

As for liquids: Coffee, diet drinks (which I think are TERRIBLE FOR YOU), unsweetened tea, and water... No alcohol. Pssh, yeah right.

Ok I'm tired of talking about this, and anyone still with me is tired of listening. News flash: if you STOP eating ALL carbs (except oat bran... Im sorry, wth? This is a cult. I need to be committed) and virtually all fat- you WILL drop weight. Like realllyyy quickly. That said, spending one night knee-deep in a bag of Doritos, a loaf of bread, and some Oreos covered in peanut butter (I know nothing about that), and you're back where you started, plus 8 lbs. If you're still interested (seriously?), visit the website for the official rundown and/or read the book (Yep, I read that too). Clearly, I did get pretty into it for the time I did it, and it heeded results. However, it all comes back to that "I'm not having fun, and I'm not that fun to be around" feeling... which is, well, not fun.

A girl's definition of fun: (universal adj) can be used to describe anyone, anything, any action, any feeling, any emotion, any awkward silence, any embarrassing moment, any outfit, any fleeting vocabulary word.
ex: She is so fun! That top is so fun! Are you having fun? OMG this is so fun! I had fun. How on earth did you not have fun?


In other FUN news, we have our first shower/engagement parties this weekend!!! Giddiness.